Why did we send our boys back to school? Well, the answer is simple. I am not a teacher. I did not study to be a teacher, I do not know all kinds of tricks to help them learn certain things, I do not know what they are supposed to be able to master and by when, and somewhere along the way, the patience I had as a 19year old taking care of 15 kids at once has faded.

Last year was both the best and worst year for me as a mom. Yes, we got to have lazy, sleep in mornings while everyone else did the morning school rush, yes we could snuggle and play whenever we wanted, we could go to the Aquarium and have the whole place to ourselves. But on the flip side, I felt really under a lot of pressure. It was my responsibility to plan school work. It was my responsibility to set up a routine and actually stick to it. It was my responsibility to make sure they do not fall behind.
All of this while cleaning the house, doing the washing, doing the grocery shopping, cooking and still working in between. It became too much for me and I felt that I wasn’t doing any of the jobs I had on my plate properly. But most importantly I felt like I was failing my boys at being their mother.

I take my hat off to the Homeschooling mothers. I got to know quite a few the last year. Some have 3 or 4 kids and they manage it all, along with all other chores and some even have jobs as well. I am in awe of you. I simply can’t. I really struggled to do it all and to keep it all together.

I felt like I spent most of my days moaning at the kids. I felt like there were more negative moments than positive ones. It wasn’t all bad, we had good days, we had days where we spent the whole day playing, but learning about life, Biology, and Geography while playing, we did fun experiments. We got to spend so much time together, but it wasn’t quality time. I realise that I would much rather let go of my fears of public schooling and embrace my job as their support system, their Cheerleader in life. And if we should come across problems in the next few years at school, we will deal with them together.

I am proud of myself for giving it a try. I am proud that I helped teach my 6 year old to read, that was definitely my biggest accomplishment in 2019. We went from Jan 2019, where he would moan and fight and not want to work on 3 letter words, or even come near a reading book, to Nov 2019 where he would without being prompted take a book and start reading. He is now, not just reading 3 letter words, he is actually reading books and loving it.

While homeschooling I struggled with my eldest to write on his own. He was able to copy things I wrote on the board and did quite well with his spelling tests on a Friday, yet he would have epic meltdowns when he had to write 3 sentences for me. He would start saying that he is Stupid and he can’t do it. We tried all different ways of doing creative writing, none worked, it would all end in tears and frustration.

At one point in June, I realised how I had spent the whole day fighting and moaning. I just felt like I was failing them as a teacher and mother. We had good days, but most days I really struggled to stay positive. Many homeschooling moms told me to take it easy and let them work when they felt like it, to not force it. But this didn’t feel right to me. Sure it does work with some kids, but with mine, if I were to give them the option to do school work or not they would have always opted not to do school work as all other kids would and that worried me. So I set up a schedule and we stuck to it. It did get better but we were still fighting quite a bit.

I tried to incorporate playing with learning, but I found it hard to incorporate writing for my 7 year old into playing and reading for the 5 year old. We did experiments and played math games, scrabble, we took a “trip” around the world. But the 2 things I was trying to teach them we were really struggling with. I started to worry that they were falling behind. So after a lot of consideration, we decided the boys would go back to school.

Now the question was where do we send them? It was mid year, all registrations had closed. My husband wanted a public school and he wanted the school to have a good sports department. I had my eye on 2 other schools, but fees were just ridiculous. We registered them with a much loved Primary school very close to us, unfortunately, this school is very popular and we went on their very long waiting list. By Nov my husband said we should start looking at other schools outside our area, even if we had to move. Luckily we got accepted at a school 15min from where we live. We didn’t have to move.

Please look out for my next few blogs. I will be going into more detail about what we did while homeschooling, and what worked. I will also post about how the boys have adapted to the new school. I do still have fears of things that could go wrong but I am ready and I feel more positive about the year ahead than fearful. I will also post a blog about how I am helping to build my sons’ confidence. I have also since found out what has caused a lack of confidence. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but I am so grateful that I now know and we can now work on improving his confidence.