When I was blogging a couple of years ago I wrote a blog named “We do not negotiate with terrorists”. I will see if I can find it and share it.
I find that being a mother is a lot like being a FBI agent, or CSI, Secret service, you name it. For example:
The Hostage Negotiator.
When dealing with tantrum like demands, we deal with it in a “cool as a cucumber” way. “We can do this the whole day, the answer will stay no” Trying our best not to give in and meet there demands. “No baby you can not run around the house with the steak knife, you can, however, help cut some mushrooms”
The CSI agent
Your little ones are playing quietly, you decide now is a good time to go for a quick pee. Next min there is an all mighty crash. You get back to them to find broken glass everywhere. You ask what happened and suddenly you are dealing with 2 clueless angels. This is when CSI mom comes out, you have to scan the crime scene, picking up clues as to what just happened, trying to figure out which one of the 2 little angels is the guilty one.
When the kids were in nappies I have had moments where I resemble a Bomb squad agent. VERY slowly opening the nappy because I am not sure what it holds. You never know it might just go everywhere. If you haven’t had one of those nappies you haven’t fully experienced the whole teething process. I have to admit, having boys I sometimes have the Bomb squad agent pose when my boys hands me something and has a very suspect grin on their faces. I brace just before I open his hand to see what wonderful “surprise” they have brought me.
I sometimes sound like a Police Officer asking someone to step away from the car that they are trying to steal. “Step away from the stove, boiling pot of water on there”
Sure I will only turn into this next one during the teenage years but should I find out that my kids have been exposed to any kind of drugs I will most certainly turn into a DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) Agent. Thinking about this, it’s probably a good idea to start training our 2 dogs now to become sniffer dogs that can pick up the scent of any type of drugs in the house. MWAHAHAHA…
Now if all of the above just applies to me, I am pretty sure I am not alone on the next one. Every mother qualifies as a Secret service agent. The Secret service agents are there to protect the President, they throw themselves in front and on top of the president in dangerous situations.
I think it is safe to say, that in a life or death situation every mother has this instinct in them, to through themselves in front or onto their children to protect them.
Lastly, there is the CIA agent. This side of me rears its head when other/new children come into my kid’s lives. They get put through a thorough screening process of background checks. LOL, not really, but I have to admit when the boys were in school, if I realised there were bullies, I would always, in a non-direct way get my boys to avoid them. Or, in Henri’s case, he had 2 boys in his class that could be very mean to him, but that would also play with him nicely. More often than not he would come home very upset about something one of them did. I would just remind him, that they are “mooi weers vriende” Only nice when it suits them. I told him that he now knows that they have a mean side and he shouldn’t let it upset him too much. On those days he should just ignore them and rather play with his actual friends.
Ok, so by now it’s probably clear that I watch a lot of movies and series that involve American Spy’s and agents. But what it boils down to is that Mothers are BAD ASS.
Kids and Dad’s take note – Do NOT mess with us, our powers are unlimited.
I also feel every mother deserves a medal of courage and bravery. Motherhood is one of the most awesome experiences ever, but it’s hard work and we deal with a lot on a daily basis.