It sometimes feels like all I do every day is run around trying my best to keep everyone happy while trying to not fall apart. Some days just feel like an endless blur of movement. Rush, rush, rush to get everything done.
Make breakfast, get husband up and ready to go, do some work, tidy the house, do the washing, do school work with the kids, make lunch, do some more work, play with the kids, shout at the dogs for constantly barking, pack away the washing, make dinner, bath the kids, feed the dogs, put the kids in bed, take a shower and finally sit down and have some tea before bed.
And then it happens. The moment I get to sit and drink my tea. Then I start thinking of my day and that is when the guilt creeps in and I start regretting ALL the choices I made during the day.
The thing I normally regret the most is how little time I spent with my kids or how I handled certain situations with them during the day. I feel so stressed half the time and that stress turns into me snapping at my boys over the silliest things and that really annoys me. It is so wrong, I need to do less and concentrate on the kids more.
Why can’t I just learn to let things go? SO what if the house is a mess when hubby gets home. So what if the washing hasn’t been packed away. Why do I feel the need to be the super mom? The perfect wife? Is it because there are mothers out there doing amazing things while having a full time job and 3 kids and I feel that I am not rising to the occasion? Is it because I am a bit of a perfectionist and would like things to be a certain way even if it ends up killing me in the end because I am so stressed out? Is it really worth it?
Why do I feel this need to be perfect? My husband certainly doesn’t expect me to be, but I do. I feel like I am failing because I am trying to be too many things at once. I don’t get to spend quality time on all the different aspects of my life. Wife, mother, home-maker, blogger and because of this I feel like a failure in all aspects.
I need a better daily routine for myself, I need to time manage better. Maybe a routine where each day will have a different main task but every day will involve at least 3 hours of quality time with my kids. That is the most important for me at this point because I feel I am failing most at being their mother. I want to have a shorter “To do list” for each day and I am only allowed to do those things on that day to make sure I don’t get overloaded with things to do each day.
I want them to have happy memories of their childhood, not of Mom running around like a headless chicken moaning at them all the time. I don’t want to sit each night regretting the day gone by, life is too short for that.
It might be the 1e of May tomorrow. But this will be my “new years resolution” Less stress, more fun. Doing only the things that are on today’s list of To do’s
When we took the kids out of school last year I already promised myself less drama this year, and I have to say not being a class rep anymore, and having to deal with school politics has already taken away a lot of the drama/stress in my life. Here is to a happier life, life’s too short to regret everyday choices all the time. I want my kids to have the fun me that the kids I Au-Paired for in Europe had. Sure I was much younger then, but that fun me is still there, she just needs to put all the adult worries aside now and again and bring the fun “Marry Poppins” as my Austria kids called me, back again.
Why can’t boys play with dolls?
I don’t quite understand what is wrong with the idea of my boys playing with a doll or a baby stroller or kitchen items.
As a child, I hated pink and didn’t want to play with dolls or makeup or anything girly. I played rugby and cricket with my cousins. I played marbles, cars and loved my Lego’s. SO what? I turned out fine. I am still not very girly, hate doing my hair and makeup; I have never had manicures or pedicures done. Does that make me less of a woman? or a bad person?
We are all different and we all like different things.
I don’t think children should be told what they can and cannot play with. If a girl wants to play with monster trucks and all kinds of cars, let her. And the same with boys, if they want to play with a doll, have a handbag and pretend to go shopping with their baby, why not?
Maybe if we encourage our boys to play with dolls and pretend to be dad’s we would raise better men, better fathers. Think about it, girls are forever playing house, being the moms taking care of everyone. You don’t really see boys playing dad, taking care of the kids. Sure they might play dad who fixes stuff in the house, but a dad is more than just a handyman.
I believe in letting my boys play with whatever they want and let their imaginations guide them. When I just had my second child, my first-born was 2. He saw me carrying his brother in a wrap. So the one-day he brought one of his stuffed bears (one of my old bears as a child) and he wanted to carry his bear the way I was carrying his brother, so I made him a wrap out of one of his receiving blankets.
We then had to go to the shops one day. We lived close to a small mall and we use to walk there. I placed his brother in the wrap and he also wanted to take his “baby” for a walk to the shop. So I made a wrap for his bear again, and off we went. Within 5 min of getting to the mall, while waiting at the Woolies bakery an elderly lady next to me was looking me up and down and said “Boy or girl?” To which I replied “Boy” she then gave me a look of utter disgusts and said, “why would you let him go to the shop like that?” I was so shocked I actually didn’t know what to say. I turned my son away from the lady and said: “He wanted to copy me and take his bear for a walk, do you have a problem with it?” To which she just made this weird dismissive snort sound and shook her head.
Then, about half an hour later in another shop, the teller said to my son “no boy, why are you playing with dolls and carrying it like a baby, you’re not a girl”
Seriously, what is it with some people. Keep your silly comments to yourself.
While my youngest was still a baby, my eldest would also copy me when breastfeeding. He would sit next to me, lift up his shirt and “feed” his bear. I don’t see why I should have stopped him or told him it is wrong. There is nothing wrong with it. I also don’t want him to think breastfeeding is wrong or disgusting. I explained to him that only the mom’s do it, but so what if he copies me, so what if he fiddles with the breast pump. He was curious. He put nappies on his bears and dressed them in some of his brother’s clothes.
About 8 months after this incident we moved into our current house, I came across my Barbie and Barbie kitchen. My eldest was 3 at the time and he had such a ball playing with the kitchen even though everything was a horrible shade of Barbie pink. To be honest, I don’t think he even noticed the pink, he was having too much fun.
I let my boys walk around in my shoes. I have even painted my son’s nails and put clips in his hair when I am doing my hair, he is very inquisitive, so I show him how everything works and how you use them. His dad wasn’t too impressed when he saw him with clips in his hair and pink nails, hahaha. But he understands why I do it.
I think it is very important for kids to explore. This is how they learn. They learn more about the world around them and also what they like or don’t like. Today my boys are 5 and 7. They are still both very inquisitive. Two of their best friends is 2 sisters. When we have playdates at their house or go there for a braai. They have the best time with all the girl toys. I never hear “We can’t play because it is girl toys” or “but it is pink” No, they play together and have an absolute blast.
For my eldest’s 5th Birthday he wanted kitchen appliances. My mother-in-law, myself and 2 other friends bought him a nice blue set. Microwave, blenders, coffee machine, and all the trimmings, pots, plastic food, etc. That kitchen set still gets packed out on a regular basis to be played with when they pretend to have their own restaurant. The very next birthday he wanted a Masterchef party and said he wanted to be a chef one day.
Now is it just me, am I the one taking crazy pills? Or is it ok to let boys play with dolls and pink items?
This past Christmas was a super exciting time in our house.
There was a high pitched shriek of excitement when the boys came down Christmas morning. This year there were oddly shaped gifts, which was very different to other years.
This year was definitely an investment in spending more time outside.
Boogie boards, bicycles and then the item they absolutely freak out over.
My husband decided it was time to invest in proper Scooters. Now when I say proper scooters I need to explain what we had 3 years ago. We were at a market in Hartebos and they were selling scooters. I thought at the time “wow, so cheap, what a bargain” and the boys didn’t have a scooter yet. Even though it was only like R300 it was such a waste of money.
My eldest was 5 at the time and this scooter was NOT appropriate for him. It had a super thin wheels with weird thin edges, not the best idea in hindsight. Neither of the kids could balance on it and it was heavy and just plain crap. Needless to say it was donated. Since then the boys never asked for scooters and were quite happy with their balancing bikes.
That was till about June last year, for the first time both boys asked for a scooter for their birthdays (August and September) At the time we were not able to get them scooters because we wanted to spend a bit more on a good quality scooter, so we decided to wait for Christmas.
My husband bought 2 YBIKE YBX Stunt Scooters. Money well spent.
This scooter is designed for ultimate durability. It has a reinforced aluminium deck, which is awesome for two little dudes who are new to scooting and still learning how to scoot and do tricks.
The YBX Stunt Scooter has, 100mm PU cast wheels, high speed bearings, an aluminium triple clamp and pro hand-grips. The age range for these scooters are 5 to 30 years. I have taken a spin a few times at the skate park and so has my husband, and I have to say it is quite addictive. The scooter also comes with grind pegs that can be attached when doing tricks on rails. We are yet to experiment with these babies, but I don’t think it will be long before they get taken for a spin.
A week after Christmas we took the boys to Battery Park, the lovely new public skate park close to the V&A Waterfront. I was amazed at how quickly the boys got the hang of balancing and using the brakes, even my 5 year old.
The hand grips provide a comfortable hold while clinging onto the scooter for dear life while doing tricks. They are soft yet very sturdy and provide great grip, even on hot, sweaty days.
The deck has enough space for both feet to fit comfortably while scooting.
The deck also swings around making it even more flexible for doing all sorts of tricks.
This mamma has a lot of scoot/stunt/trick lingo to still learn.
Between the first visit to Battery Park and the second my eldest went from just scooting, to doing hops, dropping into the bowl and even going down the stairs without missing a beat. Meanwhile my heart skipped a few beats. These poor scooters have, in the last 4 months, been put through hell and they are still going strong, putting aside some nicks and scrapes, but considering the pummeling they get put through, they are in amazing shape, so they are indeed VERY durable.
Should you be looking at purchasing a scooter for your children, or even yourself anytime soon, I would highly recommend that you invest in a YBIKE scooter. They literally have a scooter for everyone.
From their 3 wheel range which is more suited for the little ones The Cruz and GLX Pro to the YBX which is made for doing tricks/stunts and finally the City Pacer, which can fold away very easily.
There is only one thing I would change about the YBX and that is that it could also fold up, but other than that this is the Rolls Royce of scooters.
The YBX is available from Takealot, Lino Skate Shop, YBIKE and Loot.